


Yote Vs Yeeted

by gold_pen_leaps



Series: 2018 One Word Symbrock Prompts [7]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, Eddie Brock Acting as Peter Parker's Weird Uncle, Found Family, Gen, Memes, Not Beta Read, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-25 03:51:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21349780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gold_pen_leaps/pseuds/gold_pen_leaps
Summary: It would be foolish to think that Eddie Brock and Tony Stark would spend their meeting doing anything but assessing each other’s suitability as Peter’s mentor.
Relationships: Eddie Brock/Venom Symbiote
Series: 2018 One Word Symbrock Prompts [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1205077
Comments: 5
Kudos: 146





	1. Mister

**Author's Note:**

> I'm pretty sure who gave this prompt, but comment down below, just in case I've got the wrong person, and I'll gift this work to you.

Peter Parker was a good kid, but he was a bit naive. Eddie suspected that he had planned the “homework break” just so Eddie could have time alone with Tony in the living room of the Tower, but it was quite foolish to think that that time would be spent doing anything but assessing each other’s suitability as Peter’s mentor. It was a competition Eddie had no intention of losing. He had all his arguments lined up.  
“Be back for froyo,” Tony said. “Mr. Brock and I will wait here and chat.”  
Peter grinned, seemingly happy about them getting along. “It won’t take long. Bye Eddie-and-Venom! Bye Mr. Stark!”

***

It took a minute before the silence was broken. “Mr. Stark? Wow. He called me Eddie.”  
"That's because you are a loser who picks fights on the streets whereas I am his mentor-"  
"I'm a mentor!" Eddie protested. Peter was going to be a journalist, like him.  
"-and a businessman, worthy of the honorific 'Mister'"  
Eddie was pretty sure Tony Stark had a bunch of degrees, and might even deserve the title 'Doctor', but there was no way he was saying that. "Mister is pretty dull, man. How's it feel to be on the same level as his gym teacher?"  
"Pretty good, actually. Teachers deserve respect."  
"I'll give you that one, but teachers are decidedly uncool. It's not like respecting Jimi Hendrix."  
"Tell that to Mr T."  
"That's comparing apples to oranges! You can't do that."  
"Yes, I can. They're both fruit i.e. musicians."  
"...Okay, fair. Wait! No. Mr T is not a teacher."  
"He used to be a gym teacher, actually."  
"What?"  
"Look it up."  
Eddie glowered. "Okay, fine. Maybe it's respect. But consider this: Hendrix is eternal. I bet Peter doesn't even know who Mr T is."  
Tony threw his hands in the air. "You know what? I'll ask him. I'll ask him!"  
"You do that!"


	2. Yote With The Best of Them

“You’re out of touch with current lingo. I bet you don’t even know what yeet means.”

Tony crossed his arms. “I can yote with the best of them.”

“It’s yeeted. Back me up here, Venom!”

**Hmm.**

“What does that mean!?”

“You know, you should really have a Bluetooth in your ear at all times,” Tony mused. “You look like you’re raving to yourself particularly loudly.”

The symbiote bubbled out from Eddie’s neck and formed a small snake head. **"Technically, we are,"** Venom said.

"Come on! You don't back me up about 'yeet', but you chime in for this?"

"Okaaay. How's your identity crisis working out for you?"

"Just fine!" **“Just fine!”**

"Whoa. Did you speak in unison on purpose?"

Eddie didn’t answer that. _Don’t answer that,_ he thought at the symbiote.

“That’s unsettling,” Tony said.


	3. The Best

Peter surveyed the items strewn across the floor: the banners with “YOTE” and “YEETED”, the table laying on its side, and the various streamers. Tony was slumped in the armchair, staring blankly at the wall. Eddie was across the room, starfished on the floor, and the symbiote was swaying above him like a snake hypnotized by a snake charmer.

“What… happened here?” he asked Venom.

**“They yoted away their coolness.”**

Peter nodded solemnly. “Big mood.”

**“Want to get froyo?”**

He grinned. “Yeah! ‘I love yogurt. It’s the best.’”

**“'Ohmigod, it’s so good.’”**

Peter laughed."Venom, _you're_ the best."

The symbiote swiveled around to look at Eddie’s face. **“Eddie? Can I use the body to get froyo?”**

“Guh,” Eddie said morosely, which, apparently, was good enough for Venom to envelop him like a suit and sit up.

“Wait,” Peter said, “You’re going to get froyo looking like that? No offense,” he said quickly. “It’s just… uh…”

**“The best cosplay of The Demon of San Francisco.” **Venom stood up and posed.

Peter looked at Venom up and down. “You know what? We might as well get froyo before a patrol. I'm wearing the suit under this. Just a sec, please.” He called out into the room. “Later, Mr. Stark! Ask Karen if you need me!”

They paused for a moment, but when no answer came, Venom shrugged. **“Tony can protect himself.” **

“Um, and Mr. Brock?”

“I will take care of Eddie.”

They left. "You know," Peter Parker said as the elevator door closed, "I'm not up to date on current memes. It's nice to have someone like you around, Vee."


End file.
